the big TWO.

well...so today is my birthday. I guess it's just another day? well, apart from the fact that I'm now technically a year older, nothing much has changed...I'm still me. or do I want some part of me to change? I guess it's not something that will change overnight, but changes take place gradually...yeah.

nothing much happened today, an ordinary day. BUT 20 years ago it was a special day when I was born...and I thank God for putting me in this world. cos it would have been quite a different place without ME (excuse my ego-istic approach). well, maybe it would've been a better place for some, but I believe for others, life wouldn't have been the same if there wasn't me around. =) and I thank God for putting pple around me too, throughout these years, nurturing me, helping me grow...

I just wanna say THANK YOU to everyone who remembered my birthday too. all the Facebook wall posts and messages, SMSes, MSN messages, in person...I do feel loved. =) and a special thank you to my family who made my day special just by being there. especially my sis, I miss all the times we had when we were young, just feeling so carefree with nothing to worry about, just lying on the living room floor wasting time and laughing at nothing. thank you for your present too! haha. I will put it to good use! =P yeah. and my dad too, thanks for spending the afternoon with me...

well I did accomplish something today...I went to buy my Littmann Classic II stethoscope from Research Books Asia at Novena this afternoon, and also got the Oxford Clinical Handbook(s) of Clinical Medicine and Clinical Specialties. yay! all set for my clinical years...not quite yet I think. I was listening to the heart sounds of my whole family (grandma, grandpa, dad, mum, sis) just now, and I was like, what am I supposed to hear??? haha. oh well. we shall see how it goes next year!

yup. and so I am back in Singapore too, if you don't already know. it's been raining the past few days on and off, so I haven't gone for my long-awaited swim yet. =S heh. but yeah. I'm sitting around bumming the past few days, no one to go out with, no plans made, no motivation to go out either. this is terrible! ah well. but I'm just enjoying eating lots of good home-cooked food. AND spending lots of unnecessary time on Facebook...

hmm...I...so much has changed over the past year. I'm...sad, and envious, but I try to be happy for you. I've told you how I feel, but it doesn't really matter now, does it? I said what I said before, and I can't say that I regret saying what I said, but "wo kou shi xin fei". my heart and my words don't match up. hmm...but enough is enough I guess. you're free, you always were. to love is to let go...

anyway, it's rather late to be up at such an hour, seeing how I'm still quite jet-lagged and running on NZ time. it's been an...interesting day. let's see what more exciting things come my way for the rest of my holidays in Singapore...



dear God, I want to give my all to You and You alone. no one should reign in my heart except You. I'm sorry for putting so many things and so many pple above You so many times, I ask for Your forgiveness. please help me to make this coming year one in which You come first, no matter what. I want to obey You, because I know that You know what's best for me. help me to focus on You, and seek You first, as I know everything else will fall into place after that. I ask for particular guidance in terms of relationships and friendships, please help me to walk with You on that matter. thank you God for Your unfailing love and abundant grace for me. in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.