it's the weekends...

hmm...I'm trying to keep up with posting everyday. and becos of that, I'm going online at home so often! it's like my G12 pple are telling me that they're seeing me online more often nowadays! and I don't think that's a good thing. prob by next week they won't see me online anymore...I don't want to give pple the impression that I CAN come online. yah...I know I can, but I feel bad about it, since I'm not the one paying for the phone bill. hmm...

well, it's Sat today. going for another party tonight. honestly, the one last night, well...I didn't really enjoy myself there. I know, I know, it's meant to be going to celebrate someone's 21st birthday, but I don't even know that person well! the few things I think I got out of it was well, getting to meet up some pple, getting to go into a bar though I'm underaged(along with quite a few other pple), and well...getting "drunk" on 10 glasses of water. yah. you heard it right. Esther even said I looked drunk! I think I look like that when I'm tired though. yeah...but I was so bored. I think it was a waste of time and money. I'm not criticising any of the organisers or the pple there, but it's just me. that's not my style...I don't like hanging around large crowds, esp in such a confined space. I preferred sitting outside in the cold around a fireplace with my G12, just talking and having our own kind of fun. I think tonight would be much better though. for one, it's going to be held at church. and the other thing, the theme is PINK! and yes, I'm wearing pink. like right now too. can you imagine me in the Central Library standing at an e-stop in PINK board shorts?!? and it's the middle of winter some more. whoa. I'm cool. hahaha...just joking...

hmm...I realised that I can't actually write anything and everything I want to say on my blog. so many pple read it! well, at least those I know tell me that they read it. I just want to say right here right now, that pple, please don't talk to me about what I write in my blog. like you can comment and leave a message on my tagboard, but outside the online world, don't talk to me about what I said. firstly, I can't usually remember what I say. and also, some things I want to write here becos I can't talk to pple about it face to face. I'm not that much a pple-person...and I really wonder why I want to study Medicine. doctors have to talk to patients right? hmm...maybe I can cultivate a liking for pple...and I should start now. hmm...but just want to remind you all, yah...I know a blog is public and all that, but it's just to let you peek into my life...now act as though you know me so well...

I've got one more thing to say before I end off today. it's about me, obviously. sometimes, I can be a very different person when I'm in different situations. the one thing is that I'm not the same when I'm around a group of pple and when I'm alone with someone. with both girls and guys, it's different to act around someone else on their own than talking to pple in a group. in a way, talking to another person by themselves is much more personal. yah...

alright, it's time I went off to the Link to study. my favourite place! hehe. till prob tmr or on Monday(most likely tmr when I'll update at home...=) will I reappear again!

"can I still long for something that's not there?"