may it be.

that I shall not covet what others have;
that I will not be envious of the other;
that I won't let my emotions overrun;
that I will have the grace to be happy for you.

that I will not be proud,
that I will have the motivation,
that I will be an encouragement,
that I can be myself with all of you.

I should just learn to keep things to myself...whenever I tell someone stuff, I end up wanting something in return. I think it's been proven with many people. that's just my weakness. there's always give and take. at times, I give and give, and I want to take, but there's nothing to offer, and what I do? I end up breaking whatever bond there was...hmm. I try to be strong, I really do. but I just want someone who understands.

and don't you take pity on me, whoever you are.

I'm supposed to be part of the solution, but it seems like I'm part of the problem.

and I'm angry. at you. at the world. at whoever and whatever.

I'm not complaining (or am I?). some of you might care, but I don't know if I really care how much you care. ungrateful, I know. maybe just leave me alone...

I'm angry. I feel like smashing a bottle.

and don't you worry, I say it, but I won't. as if you care.

just let me vent my anger...

maybe I'm just stressed. HAHA. or it's just that I think too much.

I shall just go to sleep.

which reminds me, why do I dream of you? of all people. the least I want to have appear in my dream is you. cos you hurt me although it's nothing you did. just go away...

*breathe in*...*breathe out*...

to whoever's reading this, I'm sorry I'm so angry. please forgive me. and please just leave me be...thanks.