studying...NOT.

*sitting in South West CAL, looking out the window longingly at the people walking outside...*

I wish I didn't have exams. then again, what would I be doing if I didn't have them?
I wish I was more disciplined. how much more work can I get done?
I wish I would concentrate. it's so easy to be distracted by anything and everything.
I wish I could just be out and about. but wouldn't I be lonely since everyone else is studying?
I wish I wasn't wishing so much. even a genie can only grant 3 wishes, can't he?

bleah. I should be studying. chatted with a friend I randomly met in the Anatomy museum, he was like...you really do have a lot you haven't studied, after I told him that I've ONLY revised the Cancer module so far. ugh. and today it's 17 days to the start of my Finals. is it time to panic yet? =S

anyway, I think I do study better here than at home, though not much better. both end up not being that productive, at home it's the temptation of going to the kitchen ever so often to get something to eat/drink/snack on; here it's the temptation of going online. ARGH. why? I so need to get my act together...SOON. actually, NOW.

hmm. I guess...it's all just another thing that will pass and fade away with time, isn't it? there's not much time left...there never was much anyway, right from the start. it's just me, partly blending into the background, just the opposite. (although I've been more noticeable recently, but is the attention what I really want?) hmm. gently, and quietly, I'll leave...and then all I will keep is the good memories. nothing more, nothing less. thanks for that anyway. it's nice to know at least I mean enough, even if it's just a little.

I don't think I made any sense, but I know what I mean.

I wish you were the one, or do I really? only You know.

back to study now...

*glances once more at the people outside, then turns back to face her books...*