confident competence.

so was on call on Acute Gynaecology Assessment Unit (AGA) again today, from 1.30-9.30pm. it was, I guess...a good experience working with doctors and nurses? hmm. the feeling of competency I felt today was definitely MORE than what I felt when I started on my Paediatrics run 6 weeks ago. although I missed out quite a bit on my history taking, I felt confident talking to patients.

that "authority" given to a medical professional...I'm learning day by day to step into it. it's such a slow process and a hard one, because it means that I have to go out of my comfort zone. but in a way I don't have a choice, I HAVE to exude confidence and KNOW what I'm asking and talking about. that's why the patients go to hospital: to find out what's going on. it would be disappointing on my part if I wasn't competent. but it will take time till I perfect this skill...

I think I can understand why some women choose to end their pregnancy. saw today a 15-year old who was going to go for a termination, and a 19-year old who just had one. these girls were so young. how much do they know about starting a family? guess it could be "irresponsible" on their parts for getting pregnant in the first place, but who am I to judge? everyone makes mistakes, just make sure you learn from them. in this case, the cost was the lives of the unborn, but I guess I just have to live with believing the foetuses went to heaven...

had the opportunity this morning to attend an antenatal clinic, with the consultant asking some questions then doing a quick examination, and he allowed me to perform some. so I measured how "big" the tummy was with the baby and got to use a machine which picked up the baby's heart sounds. think I did reasonably well...

managed to get a bonus while the consultant used the portable ultrasound machine to scan a 17-year old girl who was 36 weeks pregnant. my first time seeing the ultrasound of a live baby inside the tummy and it was just...amazing. and I was almost "proud" of the girl who chose to give the baby life. prayed for the safe delivery of the baby boy...

anyway, enough about my life for today. looking forward to coming back early from the hospital tomorrow...finally.