it's a choice.

I guess I can't go on like this, can I?
I have to make a choice.
to not be depressed.
it's not that I'm not me.
it's just that I have to choose.

choose to NOT let my feelings run my life.
choose to NOT be affected by what you did.
choose to NOT be weak.

I am strong.
I have control over my feelings.
I will let Him rule my life, not you.

it's not going to be easy, not at all.
but am I willing to give it a try?
I hate being this way.
depression is work of the enemy.

I need to hold fast to His promises for me.
that everything works together for the good of those who love Him.
that everything happens for a reason.
that everything has been made beautiful in its time.

tomorrow will be a new day.
I will try to walk with my head held high.
I will try to not think about you all the time.
I will try to let go.

and letting go is letting God.
it's not to deny, but to accept.
it's not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
it's to fear less, and LOVE more.

the weekend is going to be good.
I don't want to spoil it for anyone.
and so,
I am going to give it another try.
pray for me please.
I can't do it alone.
thanks.

the fallen leaves.