I like people who have the knack to be funny. people who have personalities which seem to draw others to them. and those who have this...thing (I can't find the word to describe it) that being around them would make one feel comfortable to be oneself - be silly, be serious, be whatever; no need for pretenses. I want to be someone like that. it's not in my nature, but is it possible to be funny? witty? centre of attention? everybody's friend? AND not feel as though I was put in a spot? I wonder...
my holidays are drawing to an end. and what have I accomplished? sadly, nothing much. slept in and woke up late almost everyday, played random games online for the first 3 days (yes I managed to do it just about the whole time I was awake, ridiculous isn't it?), exercised daily (the ONLY thing I'm proud of myself for doing), did some work yesterday morning and night, watched a movie at Hoyts in the afternoon ("Horton Hears A Who" which was an awesome show!), and today...cleaned the flat. anything productive? nothing. argh. I'm just setting myself up to drive my stress levels sky high when I get back into the swing of things next week. 3 weeks of my GP run left, so many things to do. it's not like I have not enough time, I just haven't managed the time I was given well. unfortunately, there's no going back to retrieve the time lost, I just...am so not 'into' doing work! hmm.
well, suddenly I can't think of things to say. my train of thought has just gone off the tracks. haha. erm. oh I know, let's have a picture! of one of my favourite things at the moment: FOOD!
Korean dishes@Source dinner.
I'm supposed to be doing work now (as I have rambled on about above), cos tonight am going to do lights for the Generation youth service. oh my...I haven't actually worked the lights in Majestic House on my own before, and to do it tonight, with some requirements for certain effects to start off the service...I...(ahhhhhhhh..........) can do it! keep my fingers crossed. I've been told to "go crazy" with the lights and that it doesn't really matter if I make mistakes...we'll really have to see how it goes later! pray that I won't mess things up too much!!!
right. I think I need new music. I'm getting quite tired of listening to the songs I have...can't seem to find something to suit my mood all the time. I've got the praise and worship songs, then the contemporary Christian music, then all the Jay Chou songs (I used to like his songs heh), the other Chinese pop songs, and the secular songs ranging from pop to rock to er...others. I want to go shopping for some new CDs. should I? hmm.
I'm so random.
anyway, I'm not sure if I'm coping well. only time will tell. hey it rhymes!
ok, I've just wasted a lot of time. should I go exercise? hmm...not really in the mood to do work. and I snacked today. grrr...need to be more disciplined.
guess I'm not really someone who I want to be...
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