(I suggest if you don't want to become more pessimistic please stop reading this post right now. don't say I didn't warn you.)
my impression of myself is that: I'm a pretender.
everything I've been doing is all a pretence.
to put it another way, I've been living a BIG FAT LIE.
the confident one, chatting with patients about "why have you come into hospital today? what is it that brings you here to outpatients? how have things been since your last appointment?".
the friendly one, socialising with classmates, cracking jokes, being the centre of attention within a small group of friends, making people laugh.
the helpful one, always seeming to be around to lend a helping hand, asking if anyone needs help, offering to lend notes to people, and etc, etc, etc.
but sometimes the real me comes out.
the coward who can't pick up the phone to page the registrar-on-call for a patient to see, and after finally mustering up the courage to CALL, not being brave enough to go and see the patient.
the anti-social person who keeps to herself and wants to be alone.
the selfish idiot who only cares for herself.
which is the truth?
isn't it just fantastic when you truly analyse yourself?
Verse of the Day
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Anonymous
Don't feel too bad... at least you have the insight that you were and are honest about it. Nobody's perfect
October 21, 2009 7:00 am
-nat- says:
hello, until you accept who you are, you can never be yourself. moreover, you're not the only one! there's always different situations that trigger different responses from ourselves. being confident, friendly and helpful iz you being yourself as well. the same goes for you being a coward and anti-social and selfish at times too! (: there are times that i feel like not talking to anyone and be anti-social as well. x)
October 21, 2009 7:02 pm
nadia says:
thanks nat. it's probably something I have to deal with. and learn from. just being rather critical of myself at the moment.
October 24, 2009 5:18 pm