this is it.

“It’s just so satisfactory to see the little boy sitting on the carpet talking animatedly, with the simple notebook you gave lying open in front of him – pictures of cars drawn on the first page, and his 7-year-old scrawl trying its best to stay along the straight lines.
Him holding the pencil you gave, which you weren’t going to buy initially, yet you decided maybe it’d be nice to give him an almost full stationery set: pen, pencil, eraser and sharpener, all just bought from the campus shop in the morning. (You’d forgotten the ruler, and a pencil box to keep all the stuff in, but it didn’t really concern the party involved.)
His mum was just putting away the stickers you bought, a random thought a month ago when you went shopping and saw stickers of sports cars...
You bend down to take a closer look at the scribbling in the notebook, and ask about the pair of scissors you bought from the $2 Shop, special ones that managed to cut nice patterns.
It was another chance item, that one.
He proudly shows them off to you, even changing the edges and describing what kind of designs each of the 3 could cut.
You just can’t help but feel a leap in your heart, what a simple gift can mean to a child.
Especially when it was the last present of the day, after all the screaming, yelling and fighting during the day had subsided for the time being.
You know your present can never compare to the Playstation 2 or SimCity 4 he was given by his parents, or other gifts he received for his birthday, yet somehow, it means something to you when at the end of the day, he sits down and draws in the notebook you kind of felt was rather expensive buying at first.
And you know you mean something to his mum too, when she asks to see the birthday card you gave while the kids anxiously crowded around waiting for the birthday boy to open his colourfully wrapped gift.
She even tells you what you wrote in his card last year!
After reading it, she tells you sincerely that it’s a really nice card; you just smile and brush it aside, knowing deep down inside, well, something simple can make a much larger impact that anything else complicated.
The effort was worth it after all, the looks of joy on all the kids’ faces as he ripped open the carefully wrapped present and the exclamations of surprise.
It amazes you how even the most basic things can make kids happy...
Guess that’s the beauty in children, put aside all the outward appearances and their hearts are as pure as gold.
Pity you see too many kids go down the wrong road in today’s society though, modernism has done quite a lot of harm on the world in general.
But for now, you thank God for letting you experience the delight of watching a simple event unfold in your life; even though it’s not much, it makes you realise that life doesn’t have to be dull and monotonous all the time, if only you know how to enjoy even the tiniest hint of happiness in your world...”

hmm...it’s my 2nd post for the day. I just had to write that out, it kind of means something to me. another reason why I wanted to write this was also to evaluate my life right now, I need to get my priorities right. I cannot afford to mess things up, not when I’m so near my goal, not when pple expect from me though they tell me they’re relieved becos they know that I know what I’m doing. do I really? I should by now. hmm...

ok, so right now I’m going to spell out what’s in store for me for the rest of the month of October. for pple who want to know more about me and are reading this blog now, it’s more of something so that I can refer to and know I’ve written it down somewhere, that I’ve already planned things out, not so much for you to see, but yah, read on if you want to. cos like what they say, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” I don’t want to be like that, it’s just going to prove my point right that I’m a failure...and I obviously don’t want to be known as that. yup.

hmm...after this weekend, I will only be updating my blog every other day plus during weekends if I have the time. it makes sense, not to come online every night but to spend my time more usefully studying. if I can make sure that I sleep early, I can go into town to study in the library for the whole day, and come back on the 8.15pm bus, have my dinner, then wrap up the day with more studying. I have officially finished all classes for the semester, next week’s lectures are revision lectures, 3 each from BIOL115 and BIOC111. PHSI110 lectures finished this week, so I only have 6 lectures and a lab lined up in my timetable. too bad the lab is on Friday morning at 9am, but in a way it’s good, then I can spend the rest of the day revising since there aren’t any other lectures on Friday. and so I’ve planned for next week, revision all week. the following week will be basically the same thing, but no more lectures, so I’ll just hibernate in the Central library, that is if I can find a space to sit inside. either that, or I’ll just study in the Link like last semester. we’ll see how it goes. this time around though, the high school kids won’t be there, cos they’re all at classes. hmm...a quiet place is a much better study environment I guess...

yup. I need to get more work done in these 2 weeks. think this weekend isn’t such a good time to study though, I’ll probably be going over to Adrian’s place for dinner tmr night, his parents invited our G12 to go, since the homegroup leaders (and those in training) are away at camp. but that means I won’t be coming home for the night. I just feel like I need to squeeze more time out of the limited amount I have. argh. so many things to cover, and I’m still way, way behind. I haven’t gone through so many of the lectures after they’ve been given, and everything seems so unfamiliar to me...

hmm...this will be the last time I’m complaining about my studies. from next week onwards, I’m going to work hard towards accomplishing what I’ve laid out for myself. I can do it...I will work hard, and give it my best shot. I know if I set my mind out to finish what I’ve started, I will be able to complete my task for the year. and I will have the strength to go on, I will keep in mind
Isaiah 40:31 and it will give me power in this time of studying. don’t give up pple, even if you’re on the verge of doing so. becos God never meant for you to fail.

remember, “But those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” keep the faith pple...keep the faith.

“if you want know what I’m really like, this is a bit of it...”