addiction to high.

guess that's why they call it the "laughing gas", because nitrous oxide has that exact effect on me. out of the 4 of us who tried it, the response ranged from just having a tingly face, to feeling really lightheaded and not able to do sums in the head, to feeling really sleepy and 'drunk', and finally to being uncontrollably hysterical.

supposed to be for pain relief but it plays with your mind.

no wonder some people can get addicted to it...

that was my very first experience of being "high" I guess. was just so out of it, woozy, and once I started laughing I couldn't stop, until the effect wore out REALLY quickly in a matter of 30 seconds or so. and my classmates saw the side of me out of control...which was funny I guess. laughed so much watching the others have their turns, little surprise I laughed even more unconsciously when I tried it.

interesting experience...

that aside. something more serious...

wonder if anyone has felt this way before, when you try to keep a friendship going but the other party seems to be avoiding you. for some reason or another, no matter what you do, leave offline msges on msn, email, etc, it just doesn't seem to get through. or maybe it's just being ignored.

I feel so...can't describe how I feel. probably disappointed?

guess I'm too tired to socialise. can't be bothered forming any more friendships other than casual friends. it just seems to be no point.

I shall retreat to my online world where I can control what I do, playing online games when I don't need to do my work. keep myself busy so that I don't think about the failure to maintain yet another friendship. or if it was a true one in the first place. beginning to think it was a mistake...



wish I could keep experiencing that high with no lows.