all for nothing.

seriously...all that effort, for nothing. well, maybe it's because I didn't put in that much effort in the first place.

I TRIED to study last night. key word: TRIED. ended up falling asleep. lol. and what can you expect from the lack of preparation going into an exam? obviously nothing much, isn't it?

I think this was the worst exam I've ever done. didn't even finish the paper, partly cos time was tight, we had 70mins for 11 short answer questions, and also partly due to the fact that I didn't even know how to answer the questions.

but when the tutor went over the questions at the end, I realised that I do know some of the right answers, just that somehow I didn't write it down. WHY?!? gosh. so disappointed in myself.

the history taking and education...I definitely could have done better. wasn't functioning that well due to lack of sleep, and had a muddled head. though my level of anxiety was not that high (my heart rate before the exam was like...66), my core knowledge wasn't enough. missed so many points...

how did my OSCE go? BLEAH. I'd rather not talk about it.

bought 110g of white chocolate buttons from Pak'n'Save at $1.10 to counter my depressed mood. ate them while taking a leisure cycle home from school.

realised I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm down, I eat when I'm hungry, I eat when I feel like eating. I just need to eat. because how do you concentrate when your mind is thinking about food all the time?

anyway.

it's nearing the end of my O&G run. do I feel more informed in this specialty that before I entered it? I suppose I do, but not that much more. all this study doesn't go to much because it's lost in transition somewhere between the receptionist typing out the info and the clerk filing it away...lol.

all gone.

*poof*