cramming.

so here I am in the middle of the night trying to squeeze in as much info as I can into my exhausted brain. poor thing, it's so overworked and not taken good care of. consistent feeding is better for it, but somehow the mechanisms for memory aren't that well-developed. it now comes down to last minute swotting. literally burning the midnight oil.

(guess I just need to let the past be the past. how can I move on with my life if I keep thinking back to that time? sure, I do miss it, but I suppose you don't need any of that right now. you guys just look so good together. who am I to steal from you?)

kinda briefly went over the neonatal paeds notes last night in birthing suite. not much of a proper study with people walking around and talking, I was very distracted. I did manage to see a normal delivery though, thankfully. and I went home at around 4.30am. fortunately for me I had my bicycle for transport. really couldn't take it, just needed to sleep or else my whole day today would have been topsy-turvy. gone over most of the obstetrics lectures too. down to the last 2 then I'm onto the gynae lectures. AND the clinical part of my OSCE revision for tomorrow.

(maybe I wish I'd gotten to know you earlier and had more time to get to know you better. then maybe it wouldn't have been so complicated. then again, maybe we wouldn't have gotten along so well then. and maybe strangers would be further from the reality it is now. I don't even know if that sentence made sense. so many maybes. who knows?)

it's going to be a long night. my eyes are getting just a little bit tired. any effective way of keeping awake other than resorting to caffeine? so tempting to just head over to my bed...