fly away.

Sarah McLachlan - Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

---

how I wish I can just disappear. vanish from the face of this earth and enter the paradise that is waiting for me. it's such a tempting thought, to just end everything here and now, find myself in eternity when I wake up. I will be no more bound by my physical being, I will just be a spirit. and all the troubles of this world will pass away. no need to think about anything more...

hmm...as much as I think about all these, it's not really what I want to do. I do know something though, which is what my discipline mistress in my secondary school, Ms Gan, said, "Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny." it doesn't have much to do with this, but it all starts with a thought. I'm not suicidal, don't worry. hmm...

I'm not writing anything other than the above for today. I can't concentrate on studying. I just need someone or something to make me focus. hmm...the Big Guy above will probably be a good thing to focus on. hmm...I just want things to be going well. I know I must put in effort if I want that, but hmm...never mind.

angel, come take me away...just for a while...

"I wish...you could be here with me now..."