you know what? now I regret not going to watch Miss Saigon when it was showing in Christchurch. said I "wasn't that interested" in musicals then, and it was "quite expensive". that was a few months ago.
after watching Wicked, I SO REGRET NOT WATCHING MISS SAIGON.
right at my doorstep and so much cheaper at that. bleah.
searched online and saw that Mamma Mia's coming to Chch on Sept 10......
should I?
all that changed when I had those online conversations with you...but you'll never know that. don't think I'll ever tell you that. cos it doesn't even matter to you. so it shouldn't matter to me.
shows how easily I'm persuaded by people around me. that's my weakness, see. say something, I'll believe you. say another thing, I'll just keep taking it in. I don't ask questions, spoon-feed me and I'll be content.
what good is that?
been thinking if I really do want to be a doctor still. hearing about the politics of the hopsital environment, the hierarchies, having to work with the ward clerks/nurses, etc. it's just not my thing.
I just can't seem to "please" people.
consultants/registrars/house surgeons/TIs ask me stuff, I can't answer. what exactly is in my head? all these years of studying, does that make me a smarter person? am I really cut out to be a doctor???
or should I just leave the hospital and work somewhere else? that's not solving the problem, is it? and whatever it is, wherever I go, there'll still be THIS.
maybe that's the whole point, I've got the wrong focus.
why am I seeking to please people?
why am I in the world and becoming OF the world?
why am I doing medicine?
WHO AM I DOING THIS FOR???
questions only I can answer for myself.
Verse of the Day
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-nat- says:
BLEH! (:
go watch it!
and wherever you are and whatever you do, there iz a purpose for you there. you may not have discovered it now, but in time to come.
throwing in the towel prematurely? i wonder. LOVES! (:
July 01, 2009 8:33 pm
kenuff says:
hm. if you are ever back in SG perhaps i could recommend that you join a group from my church who goes to this remote village on some indo island to give medical advice/treatment. perhaps you could lend a hand and find your calling? ;p
July 02, 2009 4:33 pm
nadia says:
thanks guys.
July 02, 2009 7:16 pm
mooyin says:
yes u shuld watch mamma mia..im going!
and yea there are always times of self-doubt in being a medical student. but think of how much u kno now compared to last yr..think of the light at the end of the tunnel..
July 04, 2009 6:33 pm